Sunday, March 24, 2013

The Moment

     I am currently on the train on my way to New York. I was so sad to say goodbye to Boston and to my friend Jessica! I had the best time there. I also was able to have a moment of clarity. I finally had the moment I have been looking for. This moment that I needed could not have been found at home, it could not have been found going on a casual walk around the block, it could not be found in a Doctors office talking to a therapist, this moment had to be found by me in a new place. I needed to follow my instincts to get to this moment and I needed to trust in the process and have patience. I would like to share this part of my journey on here. I found it very uplifting and it played a huge role in my journey thus far.
     I was in the Common in Boston walking around, the Common is a beautiful area with different paths and beautiful scenery to look at as you walk by. I was walking down one of the paths, the snow was on the ground and it was just a little before sunset. I had some time before I needed to be anywhere, so I just decided to explore a little bit. When I was on one of the paths, I realized that I had envisioned this path before. I had seen it. A few months ago I had envisioned three paths before me, to my left was one path and there was someone in front of it looking at me, to my right another path with a different person standing in front of it looking at me and then there was a middle path that no one was in front of. The path I saw was dark and light all at the same time. It had trees and it looked mysterious. When I had this vision I made a choice to go down the middle path. I wanted to to go down the path with no one in front of it, and I needed to do this for myself. Not for anyone else but me. I could not believe that I had found the middle path! It actually existed! As I continued walking down this path I found myself looking up to the sky, looking for some kind of answer as to why I felt so strongly to go to Boston.. and then as if the Angels had heard me I saw it. I saw the sun, I saw the water, I saw this view that was just so breathtaking I couldn't help but cry. I was not crying out of sadness, but out of joy. Pure joy. I felt myself open up in a way I haven't been able to open up. I felt a cleanse. I felt like my heart was opening back up. I felt my whole soul being cleaned of the toxins, of all the lies of all the betrayal. I found myself being so thankful that I had gone through what I had gone through because it all led me to THAT moment. I needed THAT moment. I found myself thanking every single person that was a part of the lies. I found myself in a new light. I was finally seeing clearly and I was finally gaining perspective. I just stayed for a good hour watching the sun set on the water. I just stood there in awe of the view. I rarely cry at views, but I could not take my eyes off of this one. It was so beautiful. I felt beautiful. The whole experience was simply beautiful.
     I eventually left the moment, because all moments must come to an end at some point, but that feeling has not left me. I carried it with me during my last days in Boston and I am still carrying it with me as I travel to New York. I am so happy that I followed my instincts and took this trip. I am so thankful that my heart feels like it is finally trusting again and opening up in a new way. I am just so happy. 
    I wanted to share this story on here because I feel like I have been really open and honest about my journey thus far. If anything, I have realized that we all have daily struggles, we all have things that happen to us, bad or good. We all go through pain at one point. I want to share my journey because I want everyone to know that there will always be light at the end of a dark unknown. There will always be silver lining. Follow your gut. Trust your instincts. Keep your curiosity fresh. Never stop learning. 
    The Boston part of my adventure is over, I am so grateful that I found my path and my view. I will never forget it. Alright New York... let's see what you have to offer!





 
 

Wednesday, March 20, 2013

The Adventure Begins!

     Well, tomorrow I embark on my adventure. I will be flying to Boston and then will end my journey in New York. I am so excited for all that is to come! I have no idea what this trip will bring, but for some reason I have felt a burning desire and have been hearing my inner voices tell me that I need to take this trip and I am done ingorning those voices inside of me. They are telling me something. Who knows what will happen or what I will see? That's the best part! I have no idea what this adenture will bring! What doors will it open? Which doors will it close?
     I feel like there will be a moment that will make me smile and I will think, "oh, thats why my inner voice told me to come here." It may not be a big moment, but it will be a moment nonetheless. I am ready to just take life by the horns and live out the moments it has planned for me.
      This will be a great way for me to just have some time with myself to explore and grow in new ways. It is hard sometimes because there are daily reminders of all the lies that were in my life a few months ago. The things or people I see on a daily basis are all constant reminders of what happened and I hate the feeling it gives me. It always makes me feel like my stomache is on fire or something, my whole body tightens and I just can feel myself getting angry. Anger is such a waste of energy.
    
     I do not think I will ever grasp why this happened, but I am so thankful it did! I wouldn't trade what happened for anything. It was the push I needed! I know what I want. I have accomplished so many personal goals within the last few months that have just made me grow and blossom into a better person.
     I know I am on the right path. I have known it for a long time, what I need to do is readjust the way I see certain people that were a aprt of the unveiling. I need to see them as stepping stones and people that helped me reach this better path. I need to not see them as secret keepers or hurtful, I need to see them in a positive way. I need to, I am hoping my trip inspires me to take a step forward in that mind set. I know it will.
                              

                       "To Thine Own Self Be True"

    That quote could not ring more true. All we can do is be true to ourselves. If you ever feel lost just close your eyes and see what you want. Breathe fully in and fully out and allow yourself to tell you what you want. My whole entire being is telling me that I need to go on an andventure, I am so glad that I am finally listening to myself.
    This will be an adventure. I feel like I am just leaping into the unknown. I have no idea what I will find along the way, but I know that this is a trip that is vital for my growth.
   

  Here I go. (Turning the page to the next Chapter)