2014......I'm really ready for you.

     I don't know about you, but I am so ready for 2014 to be here. 2013 was a year full of unexpected change, betrayal, loss, fighting for whats right, living in the unknown and raw emotions. 2013 was just a wild year and now that I have had these last few days to sit and decompress I feel so numb about everything. I keep looking up to the sky and pleading to the universe for a better tomorrow. I am aware that my 2013 was supposed to happen in order for me to keep growing and evolving, but I just am ready to fully start new and take what I learned and use it. I am so ready to make new friendships and continue to strengthen the old. I am ready for what is to come. 

      I was thinking about what my goals were going to be in the new year. Here are a list of them.

Goals of 2014:

-continue to be a good role model for Gracie and for the other children that I am around.

- be true to who I am 

- always stop and think before I freak out about something

- try to start every morning by laughing or smiling, even if I have to force it at first, I don't think it will stay forced for long

- go on more dates

-go on more adventures

- continue to find time for me.

- hug my mom and dad more

- trust in what is. Even though it is so hard to trust in the unknown, it is important to believe that what is happening is meant to be happening for your journey

- take deeper breathes

- say I love you more to the people I love

-live in the present moment

-drink more water

- keep my heart open

- go to a baseball game

- skydive

- go see more theatre

- finish the last book in the 50 Shades of Grey Trilogy

-continue to find things that inspire me

- spend time with the people I love

- play more boardgames 

- Breathe and trust in each moment.

I am sure I will keep adding to the list throughout the year, but this is a good start.

                                            Cheers to an amazing 2014!

    

Remarkable Moments

      With the closing of A Christmas Carol and the end to a very long weekend of shows, I thought it would be a good idea to write out my thoughts. I feel very tired, but also very fulfilled. My favorite moments of this weekend come from the time I spent playing Rudolph in The Biggest Gift. I loved living through the last moment of the story when the entire audience held hands and thought about what Christmas and the holidays meant to them. I would look at all the children holding hands with their parents and loved ones and think to myself, "wow... what we do each year is really special. We are bringing so much joy and hope to so many people." I loved watching the children really get involved in this part of the story. It helped me see, once again, how precious life is. Each moment we live is very remarkable. I think we can easily get swept up in the struggles and worries of our every day life. It's easy to go to that dark place of feeling lonely and neglected. For some reason it is always easier to think the worst instead of the best. I am guilty of this all the time. I immediately think the worst is going to happen. If I am looking forward to seeing someone or going somewhere, I always think to myself "oh, something will happen to make this not work out." Isn't that sad? I do not know if it is because of the recent events in my life that have made me a little more cynical, but I have been more aware lately of my easy escape to the "worst case scenario."

      I was around so much light this weekend between my Fantasy Forum and Christmas Carol families, that I rarely found myself going towards the dark. I felt like myself again. I have spent the last year reigniting the light inside of me, and to be honest lately I was starting to feel my inner light dim a bit. I am not going to let it dim anymore. I can't let it. I spend my days giving and giving and giving that I am hoping that in the new year I start receiving a bit. I hope that in 2014 something really amazing happens, not just for me, but for my family and friends around me. 2013 has been all about worry and change and death and newspaper articles and complete struggle. I am ready for a new year. I am ready to start fresh and hopefully find something exciting. I plan to stay closer to the light and to surround myself with people that will keep my inner light glowing. I really think I am pretty fantastic and am really proud of myself for my bravery and courage throughout all of this. I know that may seem strange to say, but I think its important to acknowledge your victories and to be aware of them. Its important to feel proud of yourself and to know your worth.

      There are some things in my life currently I have questions about. I am really practicing the act of patience and trust. I have an open heart and a new found curiosity for life. I want to relish in the remarkable moments of life and see the good in all things. I know life is not easy, but it sure helps when you keep your head up high and trust in the higher good. 

      Something really great is going to happen for all of us in 2014. Don't worry, I am not naive enough to think that there wont be any struggle, but I do believe that after a hurricane comes a rainbow and I do believe that each moment we live leads us to the next and thats just how we keep going. Each person that comes into our lives teach us something, and if we accept it, we will learn something from them. 

      I hope everyone has a very happy holiday. Relish the remarkable moments. Listen to the silence. Sing christmas songs by the fire. Tell the people you love that you love them. Life is too short not to.