Wednesday, April 25, 2012

A Familiar Stranger

        My Journal has been a very good friend to me lately. I have been struggling with the loss and change of friendships in my life. There is that constant question that I seem to always ask myself, "when do you know when it is time to let go and chalk it all up to a memory?" I decided to write in my journal more often, and I feel so much better! It is so nice to just put your thoughts into a place and not feel like you are being judged. Out of my writing yesterday, I wrote something that I wanted to share. It really does not relate to one particular person in my life, but instead it relates to the feeling I always have when I lose someone that I used to consider a vital person in my life. People are changing all the time, and sometimes the people you once felt really close to change, or you change, and you aren't mad or in a fight, but life just shifts and you start going down different paths and you start seeing a familiar stranger before you. I have a lot of familiar strangers in my life and I used to be very upset about it, but I have come to accept the fact that we are constantly changing as human beings and our lives are shifting everyday! I am just thankful that I have had the experiences that I have had in my life with friendships. My life feels full and it is because of the friendships I have lost and the ones that I have been fortunate enough to keep. People will continue to come and go out of our lives, but it is a comforting thought to think of the friends lost as "familiar strangers." For me, the word familiar makes the thought of losing touch with someone hurt a little less.

"Remember how we used to be able to talk about anything? There was never a wall between us. We would laugh and cry together, but then that dark cloud came and took you away from me. Where did you go? I feel like I can't even talk to you anymore. I don't know what to do or what to say. Will it ever go back to the way things were? I don't recognize you anymore. You are now a familiar stranger that stands before me."



Tuesday, April 10, 2012

"I Believe" List

      It is April, which means that there is only one more month until school is out for the summer and I get to move out of my apartment in San Francisco and move back home! I cannot even begin to express how happy I am that I will be moving back home. My life is over there and I want to continue to live it to the fullest! I have grown so much these past four years that I have been living in the city attending SF State. I have made a lot of friends, ended friendships, mended a broken heart, fell in love, was inspired, felt uninspired... I feel like I have gone through a range of emotions and it feels so good to know that I have conquered so much and that my time here has not been a waste. I know that the life lessons I have learned from past and present friends and teachers that I respect will stick with me for the rest of my life and I will soon teach them to  my future students. 
     I have had to learn to deal with the competitive nature of others lately. How do you deal with competitive situations in your life? For me, I had to make a decision to just stop, take a deep breath and trust my own instincts and remind myself of  what I believe in. 
     I believe in myself
     I believe in my family
     I believe in my relationship with Jason
      I believe in Grace and know that she can be whatever she wants to be in this life
      I believe in myself as a teacher
      I believe in Performing Arts Studio and its purpose in this universe
      I believe in angels
      I believe that my Nanny and Grandpa George are angels and continue to watch over all of us
      I believe that good conquers evil
      I believe in love
      I believe that people change and don't always stay in your life
      I believe that music makes you feel better
      I believe that everyone has the right to find love
      I believe that not everyone is good, there are some cold hearted people in the world
      I believe in myself and my own goals 
      I believe in change
      I believe in theatre
      I believe in visualizing something and having it happen

  I want you to take out something where you can jot down your ideas and create an "I believe" list.  What do you know to be true in your life? Once you have figured out all the things that are true to you, all the stuff that you are confused by or do not know how to handle will start to make sense in a way. You'll have a better grasp on what it is that you need to figure out. 
  Life is about trusting yourself and your own ideas. People in this life can be vicious. They can try to take thing away from you and copy all of your own thoughts... but do not let them. It is that simple! BE who you are and stay true to yourself and the rest will fall into place! TRUST yourself. DO what you love. and LET GO of any hatred your may hold. If you are not happy, change it. Your life is too short and too precious to not be doing something you love.