I have been keeping myself busy since my Nanny passed away. I was lucky again to be able to be with her until her final breath like I was with my Grandpa. I am thankful to the both of them for allowing me to witness such a beautiful part of life. I miss my Nanny dearly and I think about her constantly. I know she is at peace, but I wish I could just know where she is. When my sisters and I were little, we would always tell my Nanny that we wanted to build a tunnel from our house to her house because then it would be easier to see each other. Well I wish more than anything that I could just build a tunnel from me to her right now. I just long for one more hug, one more giggle from her or one more I love you.
Death is such a strange concept. If you really sit down and ponder it, it just gets stranger. Most people brush it aside, and choose not to confront it. I am guilty of doing that, but lately I have just been thinking about the concept. It is so strange and somewhat sureal that someone that you love can be here in the present moment and then in one moment they are gone, the body you once hugged so tightly, the laugh you once heard that made you smile is gone. Just gone, but all their things are still here.
Which brings me to my next point, bottom line, all it is is just "stuff." The clothes you just have to have! The latest iwhatever that you wait in line all day for, and even the minimal problems you are having with your life... it's all just "stuff." If you think of it in that respect, it is just kind of funny and it really makes you re-evaluate you're life and what is important. For me personally, it makes the idea of putting on a show comical. Because I am a "theatre person" and have grown up in the theatre I completely understand that when you are involved in a production or production company, it becomes the most important thing in your life. The lights have to be just right, the sound, costumes, set, direction and the casting all have to be perfect so you can "out do" the other companies. Do you know how silly that is? We as human beings have such a competitive nature, we feel like we have to be the best. What for exactly? So you can win awards and have people know your name? As "theatre people" is that what it is about? In my opinion (and I will give you my opinion because this is my blog) I feel that theatre is not about that! At all! Theatre is about community, coming together to help tell stories to an audience that truly cares. When I hear about "theatre drama" either at my school (and do not get me started on my school) or in my community, I can't help but chuckle to myself because after witnessing two people take their last breathes I have realized that life isnt about the materialistic stuff. It isn't about competition and "out doing" someone else. It is about family and love. When I am on my death bed, I want to be remembered for how much love I had. I want to be surrounded by the family I created with someone I love.
I see people in my every day life that walk around in a huge cloud. They are clueless to what is truly important. They are so wrapped up within themselves and what will make them successful that they don't even pay attention, and don't even bother to say a simple, "hi, how are you?" It is so sad when you come to the realization that the people you once thought you were so close to, do not know anything about you. They can see you daily, but seem to care less. I do not want to be one of those people. Every person I come across I want to really know how their day is going. I want to help them in any way I can.
I know that I want to teach. My passion is teaching, whether it be Kindergarten or Theatre I want my students that I come across to understand life and what it means to be truthful to who you are. I want them to know that as they live their life they need to live it with no cloud around them. Their lens needs to be cleared so that they truly see what is going on. I want them to know how to feel empathy and how it feels to truly love. I want them to know that life is not about getting your own "stapler" or just doing Theatre just to "win" or buying things you really don't need. At the end of the day it is JUST STUFF.
My Nanny and my Grandpa George lived their life with such class. They did what they loved and when they were lying on their death bed, I know that they felt at peace with every decision that they had made in their life. They both lived a life well lived and I pray that they are hanging out up in Heaven cheering all of us on down here.
Please take a moment and look around. There is a whole world out there! Full of people! You're goal today is to say hello to three people and ask them how they are, whether you know them or not, it will make their day. Guarantee it.
