Its been awhile...

I know it has been a long time since my last blog. I suppose life has gotten the better of me lately. I feel like time has been going so fast and there has been no time to just sit down and breathe. We started Hairspray rehearsals a few weeks ago! I am having such a fun time so far! It is going to be an amazing show! Come check it out in Walnut Creek! CCMT's Hairspray... just go to this website for all the information :)  http://www.ccmt.org/hairspray?d=1298006436684 (Ok that was my plug :) )

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Do you ever feel like your life is slipping away from you? I sometimes feel like that. Time just moves so fast and by the time I realize that it has moved at such a rapid pace I sometimes feel like I  took certain parts for granted, and I find myself wishing that I could just go back and relive it. For instance, in times when I miss my family, I wish I could go back to Christmas time when we were all together in one room and take the time to give my mom, dad, sisters, niece and brother in law a hug and tell them that I love them and that they mean the world to me. Or I wish I could just go back to the week that my Grandpa was still awake at  John Muir Hospital and take the time to sit next to him and ask him what he was most proud of in his life and what he feared the most for the days to come. I wish I had not let time take hold of me and keep pushing me forward at a rapid pace. But here I am writing about this and dwelling on it when I could instead be calling my Grandma or my Nanny or my Mom or Dad. Here I am letting time and other things take reign over what I really want to be doing. It is a really hard pattern to break. We are all guilty of it. We all have regrets... we can say to ourselves that we will live our life with no regrets, but that's just nonsense, life is all about the ups and the downs. The happy times and the sad times. I suppose that is what makes life fascinating. My mom always tells me that we come to this earth to learn lessons and once all of our lessons have been learned then we are able to go back "home." I believe this to be true. Everyday I face challenges, we all do. I am worry wort, I worry about everything!!! Everything!!! I suppose not worrying is the biggest lesson I still need to learn. I am working on it, but I know that it will take me my whole life to figure out how to let go and just embrace every little thing that comes my way in a positive way. What is your biggest lesson you have to learn on this earth you think? Its a very interesting idea to consider. 

    It feels so good to write, to get all my thoughts out and try to make sense of it all. Life is good. I know it is, it just sometimes does not make any sense and I do not think it ever will. 

    Alright, well here's my blog post for the evening, thank you for reading it, I hope that my thoughts might have helped you in some way.

Why is my blog entitled You Are My Sunshine?

       My Grandpa George passed away November 23rd of this past year and I was lucky enough to be in the room with the rest of my family when he took his last breath. I can't really even begin to describe what it was like to witness someone take their last breath but it truly was a miracle. It was so peaceful, and I remember feeling no sorrow as it was happening but just pure joy and happiness for my Grandpa because he was embarking on the next stage of the journey. 

      The night that he passed away, my family and I surrounded his bedside, holding hands and singing songs. One song that we sang just keeps sticking with me and that is the song, You Are My Sunshine. A few days earlier when my Grandpa was able to talk he was singing that song with my Grammy in the hospital room, they were harmonizing and just enjoying eachother's company. I suppose we found it fitting to sing that song to him that night. I know he could hear us. Have you ever listened to the words of that song? It is actually very sad.

            "You are my sunshine, my only sunshine, you make me happy when skies are gray, you'll never know dear how much I love you, please dont take my sunshine away. The other night dear as I lay sleeping I thought I felt you in my arms, when I awoke dear, I was mistaken so I lay my head down and cried. You are my sunshine, my only sunshine, you make me happy when skies are gray, you'll never know dear how much I love you, please dont take my sunshine away."

Sad isn't it? My Grandpa was and still is my sunshine. I feel him with me all the time and I do not think I have ever felt so close to him as I do right now. He made my family who we are and he was always there to support any of us in anything that we ever did! So my blog is called You Are My Sunshine because it is dedicated to my Grandpa George. I want him to know that he is my sunshine and whenever I feel the warm sun on my face I know it is him smiling down on me letting me know that he is doing just fine :)
   

My First Blog

Ive always wanted to be a person that has a blog. I just never really knew what I would write about, but here I am on a Tuesday night procrastinating on doing homework and going grocery shopping to create my very first blog! I am excited about this and I hope that you are to! (Whoever you are!) I am happy that today is the first day of February, there is always something so special about the beginning of a new month, I guess there is so much potential for the days to come and in some ways the start of a new month can be like a fresh start and can give hope and clarity for the future. Oh gosh, my first blog and I am talking about the beginning of a new month! I promise I will make this more exciting! It will take some practice, but you always have to start with something right? I am taking this new fresh start of the month to start something new and to do something for me, and I will be doing that by starting this blog! Here I go!